Four Blunders That Ruin a Pastor-Congregation Partnership

Each year, one in three congregations in North America welcomes a new pastor, associate pastor or ministry program specialist. Church members and new pastors share a sense of excitement about the relationship. Everyone involved wants to get off to a great start.

But good intentions alone are seldom enough.

New pastors and their congregations don’t intend to prevent a strong partnership from forming, but they often do. Four common blunders hinder the formation of a strong pastor-congregation partnership. Avoid them to create a positive, fruitful relationship that starts strong and endures.

Blunder #1: Skipping Personal Connections

Like wires conducting electricity, personal relationships conduct the energy of ministry and service. Often, new pastors and church members give relationships short-shrift in order to “jump in and get busy.”

This impulse to get too busy too soon is understandable. After all, new pastors want to show people they’re hard-working. They want to make the most of new opportunities in the new setting.

Church members are eager, too. They want to cooperate with their new pastor and take action on things that need to be done -- some of which might have been postponed until the new pastor’s arrival.

Unfortunately, getting too busy too soon results in a relational short-circuit. Before rushing into the tasks of ministry, a new pastor and congregation should build relationships. They need to take time to make unhurried, genuine personal connections. Making relationships a priority early on says, “I value you, not simply for what you can do, nor only for what we can do together; I value you for who you are.” Isn’t this a reflection of God’s love for us?

Blunder #2: Failing to Share Faith

It can be difficult for some new pastors and church members to speak with each other about their deepest beliefs. Perhaps they assume that such a conversation is needless -- after all, don’t members of the same church or denomination hold all faith convictions in common? Maybe some church members avoid speaking about personal faith because they feel it’s the pastor’s job.

Whatever the reason, when a church and its new pastor fail to share faith, confusion and misunderstanding often result. Use the start-up period to get to know and understand others’ beliefs about God. Invite people to tell you how they came to faith. Ask what motivates them to participate in the life and witness of your congregation. When a new pastor and church members share faith honestly and authentically, each grows to understand and appreciate the other in powerful ways. This promotes harmony and cooperation.

Blunder #3: Prayerlessness

Imagine that you have two dear friends you care about deeply. They're not yet acquainted with each other. You invite them both over for dinner one evening at your place. You send the invitations, prepare the meal, set the table, and serve the guests.

Now imagine that your guests ignore you completely throughout the evening, focusing only on each other. To make matters worse, they abruptly leave together without even inviting you to join them! How do you feel?

Now consider that God brought you together as pastor and congregation. Aren’t you curious about what God has in mind for your ministry partnership? God knows you best and sees great potential in your cooperation.

Use the start-up phase to search the Scriptures and pray together about this. Discern what God hopes for you, and expects of you, as pastor and congregation. Pray that God will show you how your one-of-a-kind partnership can advance the great cause of God’s ongoing work in the world.

Blunder #4: Sidestepping Differences

This mistake is perhaps most common. When a new pastor arrives, the pastor and the congregation put their best foot forward and do their best to get along.

Often, there's pressure to avoid difficult subjects -- and the greater the differences, the greater the pressure. These differences might be among members of the church and not involve the pastor directly. Or, they might be between church members and the new pastor.

The issues involved might be new or old. Either way, people reason, “Let’s not spoil things by bringing up subjects about which we have differences. Let’s push that aside for now to avoid unpleasantness.”

These people often mean well, but they're mistaken; avoiding any discussion of differences does nothing to resolve them. In fact, this can actually make it more difficult to deal with the issues in the long run.

One of the challenges of successful start up is to speak openly about differences to handle them constructively. While some issues can't be resolved immediately, at least they can be acknowledged. Differences supply energy for progress. They're an invitation to learn. Good leaders use them constructively.

To build a strong and productive relationship, churches with new pastors should avoid the four blunders cited above. Instead, get to know one another. Share faith honestly and authentically. Pray about what God expects of you as pastor and congregation. Speak openly about differences to handle them constructively. In these ways, you'll build a pastor-congregation partnership that starts strong and endures.

Fred Oaks is author of Welcome, Pastor! Building a Productive Pastor-Congregation Partnership in 40 Days. Bulk order discounts are available through FaithWalk Publishing. Call 800.337.7177 or e-mail customerservice@faithwalkpub.com. Single copies can be purchased at www.Amazon.com.