A HEART THAT HONORS

Calvin Miller, in his book, The Singer, says that love often stands quite close to hate “…like silent chessmen, side by side. Only the color of the squares is different.” In one moment, we can be loving and honoring, and in the next hating and dishonoring!

Unfortunately, it’s true.

We all know that we’re commanded to love God, ourselves and one another -- that there will be no blessing if we hate. Yet we cross the fine line between these two extremes in a heartbeat.

Whenever we diminish, dismiss, disregard or despise another’s life -- including our own -- we move from one square on the chessboard to another, reversing the color of the squares upon which our hearts rest. If we remain there, the game may be lost.

It doesn’t matter whether the dishonoring is toward those in authority over us, or toward those under our own authority, or even a neglect of ourselves and our need for boundaries and respect -- the principles are the same. Valuing is at the heart of love. If we are not willing to value and honor, we will never love, no matter how hard we try.

If we attach high worth to others’ lives -- regardless of their behavior at any given moment -- we will not slander, despise, wound or neglect them. We will see them as individually precious to God, and therefore individually precious to us.

We will remember well the weaknesses in our own lives, and will therefore find patience for the same in theirs. But, because we love them, we won’t want to leave them where they are. We will long for them to share the freedom we have found in trusting God as we honor others.

We must dream -- dream of their success and begin to invest in our relationships with them. Because we recognize their great worth to God -- after all, He sent His beloved Son to die for them -- we will have the courage to gently urge them to reconsider their choices, but only after their trust has been earned by a demonstration of our faithfulness to them.

Honoring Our Authorities
There is a vast difference between, on one hand, grieving over a wrong, making an appeal for change and then trusting God within their choice and, on the other hand, condemning and spreading our chagrin to others. We must remember that only God is the judge of the world. When we play judge, jury and hangman of another, we are on dangerous ground -- ground in which blooms the noxious weeds of arrogance and self-righteous rebellion.

Israel’s King David knew this. He was amazing! He actually loved the man who used him for target practice! He remembered Saul’s greatness and looked only at his tortured heart -- and grieved for him. How could he manage to love this man who relentlessly sought to kill him?

Very simply, he honored Saul…because he honored God. David must have had a very astute comprehension of the seriousness of the order of authority God had established through the prophet’s anointed choice of king. While that man sat on the throne, respecting his authority and personhood superseded every other logical design on earth.

Every action of David’s -- from sparing Saul’s life in the cave and again on the field while Saul lay sleeping -- to pleading with Saul to remember David’s faithfulness and cease his feverish pursuit, showed how highly David valued and loved this mad king.

Finally, Saul was defeated in battle and fell upon his own sword. When an Amalekite finished the job and delivered the news of Saul’s death, David’s troops were overjoyed! At last, David could take his place on the throne and bring the nation together and restore sanity to kingship.

But what was David’s response in hearing the news? He tore his clothes, mourned, wept and fasted until evening for Saul, Jonathan and the slain of the army of Israel -- the very army that had pursued him all those years.

Furthermore, he composed a lament to honor the slain king and his son and ordered all of Judah to sorrow and sing it with him. The lament, instead of recounting all of Saul’s weaknesses, recounted Saul’s glory and strength. David honored his enemy even in death.

Honoring those Under Our Authority
Honoring those who serve under our authority is as important as honoring our authorities, and I love the way Jesus honored His followers. He never reminded them of their shady pasts, their lack of education, the blunders they made while learning how to trust God -- not even their betrayal and abandonment of him in his greatest hour of need.

Instead, He attached high worth to them. He confided in them; patiently explained spiritual truths in terms they could understand; and listened to them even when they were being petty. He made sure their basic physical needs were being met; prayed for them; and shared His glory with them.

Furthermore, Jesus looked beyond their gender and economic status and into their hearts; expected the best from them; made great promises to them that He kept; and comforted them and loved them to the death. Even after He had seemingly left them at the cross, He reappeared to encourage them and to instruct them on how to carry on in the power of the Holy Spirit whom He would send in His absence. The way in which He passed the task onto his future leaders was flawless! And with His blessing and anointing upon them, they turned the world upside down.

We are here as believers today because of the way in which He honored these men and women every step of the way. Never did He mock or ridicule them, devalue or distrust them, even in their failures and weakness. He knew they would learn, and that learning would take time. He lovingly invested that time. He honored and valued them…and they knew it. In response, they were willing to give up everything to follow Him!

And through it all, as David did Jehovah, Jesus honored His Father. If David and Jesus had not honored God’s method, system and plan, they would have failed as leaders. We, like they, will succeed in ministering effectively only if we honor and respect in both directions -- God and those going before us as leaders, and those coming after us in whom we are responsible to invest our lives.

Finding the Cross
We will not always do it right. When spears are thrown at us, we may pull one or two right out of the wall and heave them back; or when we are betrayed by someone into whose life we have poured our own, we may bitterly denigrate him or her to our friends.

But when we do, we will return to the cross, learning to quickly repent of playing God in our attempt to make them pay for what Jesus has already given His life. When we forgive, God will lovingly extract the sin lodged in our hearts and bring healing for our own wounds. If we have spoken bitter words to them, heartfelt apologies must be made and honoring renewed within us.

If we have fallen into the trap of thinking “It’s all about us”, God will draw us up short. He will be the “hound of heaven,” pursuing us with conviction until we humble ourselves at His feet.

We will find the way to the cross, the most important path we will travel in life. And travel it, we will -- time and time again. When we sin, the joy of repenting and giving the rule of the world back to God, and the delight of being washed clean as we forgive, will never grow old. When we repent, honoring is reestablished as Jesus reassures us of His love, clears our vision and sets us right again.

Our Prayer
But our focus must be on preventing these sins. If we will daily pray this prayer of David’s as recorded in Ps. 139:23-24, “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting,” He will show us our weaknesses and give us grace to love and lead unselfishly. In His presence in worship and prayer, we will experience His humility, and His leadership will take root in our hearts.

^{Joyce Strong is an author and international conference speaker focusing on ministry and leadership wholeness. She is the director of Women’s Ministries at New Life Church in Gahanna, Ohio. Her books include Leading With Passion and Grace; Instruments for His Glory; Lambs on the Ledge; Caught in the Crossfire; Of Dreams and Kings and Mystical Things; and A Dragon, A Dreamer, and the Promise Giver. Her articles have appeared in Ministries Today, SpiritLed Woman, Church Business and Educators Journal. Visit her online at www.joycestrongministries.org.}

_{*Article adapted from Leading with Passion and Grace by Joyce Strong}